Under Construction (still)

I saw it in a dream Sometimes I have dreams that end up coming true. I don't know how my brain predicts what is going to happen, but sometimes it plugs into the future just a little bit. Maybe it's God's way of helping prepare me for what comes next. This is very, very compassionate …

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Being Creative while Recovering from a Brain Injury

When you have a brain injury, you can lose a lot. Your social life or friends. Your job or ability to work in the same field. Your independence, self-reliance, autonomy, or ability to care for your own needs. Your ability to drive anywhere you want whenever you want. Emotional control. Cognitive stamina. Focus, concentration, organization, …

Frustrated + Grateful = Frustgrated?

My journey continues to be nothing like I thought it would be. After striving so diligently for 3 years and 9 months, I'm still in the midst of a very frustrating health struggle. I'm weak. My arms and hands hurt and are not as strong as I need them to be to do a normal …

Tasks That Count

Today I did a few tasks that might not seem noteworthy but that absolutely count. I rolled a skein of yarn into a ball for a scarf I'm knitting. I boiled some sugar water and filled our empty red hummingbird feeder and placed it on the deck. I watered four terra cotta pots of wilting …

Climbing Everest in a Storm: Living with Cognitive-Emotional Effects of Brain Injury

These ruminations begin with reading a recent Facebook post.... A little while ago I read this Facebook post by Elizabeth Gilbert. https://www.facebook.com/GilbertLiz/posts/1778347148914059 As someone who lives with a brain injury, it was hard for me to take in. Gilbert describes a moment of cognitive-emotional chaos, where she cannot use her thoughts to control her thoughts …

Who am I?: Coping with Identity Loss after a Brain Injury

With one blow to the head, I lost a part of myself It was 2 years before I started to feel more like myself. Immediately after I accidentally struck my head into a wall at my office, I knew something was terribly wrong. In my next meeting of the day I could not focus. I …

The Art of Making Mistakes

Before my injury, I loved to create. You could always find me scribbling away in a notebook, dreaming up a book idea, or doodling on a piece of paper. After my injury, I barely had enough physical energy to do the everyday tasks of living. I couldn't tap into my creativity in the same ways. …

Come Run with Me for Brain Injury, May 19!

3 years ago, I wasn't sure whether I'd ever return to normal life. Shortly after my brain injury, while I was still wallowing around trying to find proper medical care, one doctor told me not to run for 3 months. Well, that turned out to be a bit of an understatement. It was 2 years before …

My brain injury isn’t a joke

Societally, we’ve seen so many “mild” head injuries portrayed as humorous plot points that we’re numb to taking it seriously. Off the top of your head, I bet you can think of at least one movie or TV show that portrays a head injury. Probably even more. How about that scene in Parks and Recreation …

My third brainiversary + broken prayers

A few days ago it was three years since I injured my brain in a freak accident. It's hard to know what to say on this anniversary. Each day since then I've lived in the shadow-grief of that two seconds and the massive destruction it caused in my life, to my very self as constructed …